What’s the one personality trait that you have that gets in the way of you doing what you want to do in life?
If you think it is impossible to change that trait, I’m sorry to tell you that your self-transformation journey to realize your dreams will never start. You might as well forget about your own dreams and go join the herd of people living life according to someone else’s dream. Sorry.
“But!” I can hear some of you say, “I can’t just change who I am. I can’t become more intelligent, or more creative, or more outgoing like some people!”
I wouldn’t be very convincing if I just told you, “yes, you can!” because I know your type wouldn’t buy that kind of positivist bullshit.
But I will say there are two types of people in life:
There are those who believe that change is possible, and those who think that everything is fixed; that the game is rigged; the dice rolled and we are what we are, forever.
Only the first type is capable of starting down the path of self-transformation.
Self-transformation starts with a tiny spec of hope, let loose.
Your unwanted personality trait is your enemy, and hope is a bullet. With enough hope, you can shoot your enemy dead, in time.
So, the first step to start believing change is possible is to conceive of hope, one bullet at a time.
But hope doesn’t spring out of your butt and form a rainbow slide leading to your dreams. Hope is birthed when it is allowed out, when we stop telling ourselves the lie that ‘we are what we are’ and proceed to act on those lies.
It means to stop repeating to yourself, “I’m not creative” and then avoid ever doing anything creative. Or when we think we are too shy or anxious to go to a party, so we don’t go. This is action or inaction based on fear and a lie that we convince ourselves is true because we are constantly proving to our selves it is true. It’s cyclical thinking and cyclical living.
The way out is to take risks. To stop caring for once what other people think and to take a chance, to allow yourself to fail.
You let loose that tiny bullet of hope, you take a shot, and you will either make a hit or you’ll run for cover again, but the thing is you stood up to your enemy! You learned new combat skills, you got in some practice!
Every time you take a risk and do something contrary to what you believe yourself to be capable of, you build hope.
You stash bullets.
You build up your personal power!
Wage war on yourself again, and again, and again if you want to live your dream.
Identify not just the big enemy within yourself that stops you from doing what you want in life, but all the other asshole supporters of that enemy. Take them down, one by one. Work on yourself.
In chasing my dreams, I learned that along the way I had no clue what kind of person I would have to become to realize those dreams. All I could see was the face of the enemy within that was blocking my way to the next step. Ten steps above, I could no longer recognize who I use to be. It makes me laugh now to think I was afraid of cold calling or of speaking in front of a large group at a networking event.
Think about the kind of person you’ll need to become to live the life of your dreams. Write down all the personality traits, habits, and fears that you’ll need to defeat to get there, and start making little challenges each day to face them.
Don’t accept your enemy as a permanent part of yourself when you know it’s standing in the way of what you want out of life!
Later, I’ll tell you how I killed off my biggest enemy in life, and which I’d almost accepted as something I could never change: my shyness.
Tell me what your enemy is now and what you need to do to conquer it.